“It was a real marriage,” Garner, 43, said of the Batman v. Superman star, 43. “It wasn’t for the cameras. And it was a huge priority for me to stay in it. And that did not work.”
“Ben says, ‘Oh, you just don’t care,’ and I say, ‘No, it’s the opposite.’ It hurts me so much, and I care so much,” Garner told the magazine.
“I cannot be driven by the optics of this. I cannot let anger or hurt be my engine. I need to move with the big picture always on my mind, and the kids first and foremost.”
“We had been separated for months before I ever heard about the nanny,” Garner said. “She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce. She was not a part of the equation. Bad judgment? Yes.”
For all the turmoil Garner said their split has caused, her heart has not grown hard.
“I didn’t marry the big fat movie star; I married him,” she said. “And I would go back and remake that decision. I ran down the beach to him, and I would again. You can’t have these three babies and so much of what we had. He’s the love of my life.
“What am I going to do about that? He’s the most brilliant person in any room, the most charismatic, the most generous. He’s just a complicated guy. I always say, ‘When his sun shines on you, you feel it.’ But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow.”